Ask the Alligator




Dear Eleanor Roosevelt,

Why is my room cold?

-Papa Cycle

Dear Papa,

Oh no. I know just how terrible a cold environment can be, especially if you are cold blooded. Even if you aren't, you surely don't want to get out of bed and might have to sleep with socks. Sometimes if your room is too cold, your neighbors turned your heat off. That is the worst. You should call your super if there is no heat. Another cause of a freezing room is an open window. Make sure they are closed! You probably have them hidden behind curtains, but they can open by themselves sometimes.

In any case, I strongly recommend you purchase a hot water bottle and keep it under your covers with you. The only thing I might recommend more than a hot water bottle is two hot water bottles.

-Eleanor Roosevelt


Dear Eleanor Roosevelt,

Shrimp are on sale. What should I do with them?-Jumbo

Dear Jumbo,

Buy the ones with their shells still on. Then you can either shell them using a steak knife (the pointy tip and serrated edge are helpful) or not shell them. If you shell them, keep the shells so you can make shrimp stock. That's where the good shrimpy flavor is. When you buy shrimp flavored snacks in Chinatown and think "this does not taste like the shrimp in shrimp cocktail, it must be fake!" you are thinking wrong. It is the shrimp cocktail that is fake, or at least bland. The shrimp flavor is in the shell, so don't waste it.

That leads me to my next suggestion. Don't shell the shrimp. Just steam them or sautee them or whatever you want to do in their shell. Then, get this, eat them! You can eat the shell. It has all the shrimp flavor. (Note: you can do this even if you are not an alligator. Humans do this.) It's crunch. You don't have to eat the tail though.

-Eleanor Roosevelt


Dear Eleanor Roosevelt,

Is it really Valentine's Day for you if you don't have a Valentine to celebrate with??-Your Own Cupidity

Dear Your Own Cupidity,

No. It's just like how it's not your wedding anniversary if it's someone else's anniversary. But that doesn't mean you should sit at home and weep, just like you don't sit at home and weep every day that it is someone else's wedding anniversary. Do something fun. Let the people who think they are in love have their day. And post-Valentine's Day candy is the worst, so don't buy any. Hold out for Easter, which is in March this year.

-Eleanor Roosevelt



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